by J.L. Price
I began working on the story that became “Ambiguous Loss,” and its main character of Josie several years ago. In most instances I write to try to make sense of and understand the world around me, and in some instances to emotionally deal with whatever is going on in my life at a given point in time.
My brother has served in the military for most of his adult life. Around the time I started writing “Ambiguous” Loss he had been home for an extended period of time after having suffered a combat related injury that nearly killed him. At the same time, several of his military buddies were returning home after having fulfilled their service contracts and were trying to integrate back into their previous lives. One thing that struck me with respect to all of them was how much war and combat changes a person. How hard it is to integrate back into one’s old life, when one’s experiences have caused such profound personal change. It is hard for both the soldiers and their families. For the families, you are so glad they are home and alive, yet the person who went off to war is not the person who comes back. At least not entirely. You still love them as much as ever, and they still love you. But in many instances those relationships must and often do significantly change. Sometimes you lose them altogether.
Time and again we hear politicians and pundits talk about how much they appreciate the service and sacrifice of our military men and women and their families. Yet very few of them ever have to know what that means. In writing this piece, I wanted to give voice and insight into that lived experience, at least from the perspective of the families.
Around the time I was contemplating and working through what it was like to be a family member in a military family, I also took one of my first online fiction writing classes. Josie first came to me as a character in response to a writing prompt for class. I envisioned her as a young teenager who was just starting to see and understand the world as an adult. As “Ambiguous Loss” developed, I chose to tell the story through the eyes of 13 year old Josie because I think often times kids see things more clearly, and experience them more directly than adults as they haven’t yet learned to live in denial or put on filters for things they’d rather not see. In the end, I feel like this story isn’t about loss and family tragedy, but rather about how families stick together and love one another even when it’s hard. Even when you’re not sure doing so will be enough. I believe Josie’s character, and her actions in extreme circumstances, help illustrate that point well.